Grief and Loss Therapy in Victoria BC

Have you ever gone through a career change, breakup, divorce, miscarriage, or change in identity?

We tend think of grief as being associated with the death of a loved one, and this is often the case, but there are many different types of losses that can lead us to feel sad, lost, and looking for a new sense of meaning in our lives. Sometimes it is as simple as adopting a new belief system that causes us to shed an old version of ourselves, or to change our relationship with our friends, family, or professional network.  Sometimes life events that seem like they should be positive, such as graduating or moving to a new city, can stir things up in ways we didn’t anticipate.

Grief can surface whenever something in our lives that we thought or knew to be true is no longer the case. Sometimes a friend may still be alive, but your values are no longer aligned, and you feel like you are outgrowing one another. Or it may be that a loved one’s health is deteriorating due to a disease or aging. This is a normal human process that we don’t always feel equipped to handle. Instead we put on a brave face, and fill our best caretaker role, trying to avoid the stress, burden and even resentment that can come along with caring for a loved one. It is possible to love, and be worried about someone, and to also feel drained by supporting them. Often when this happens we feel guilty for feeling this way, like it somehow means we love them any less.

Stuffing down or avoiding these feelings of grief causes them to bubble below the surface, and they can show up in our daily lives in different ways such as irritability, difficulty concentrating, restless sleeps, and isolating ourselves to name a few. It is only when we slow down, and acknowledge our loss that we can come to a place of better accepting it, and choose a healthier way forward.

Our counsellors can help you to explore the different states of grief - the non linear feelings of denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. It can be confusing to move between the stages, and feel like we’ve gotten to a place of acceptance some days, but circle back to denial or anger on others. The smallest things can set us off and we may not realize it is really due to this unresolved grief. This is not a setback, but a normal part of the process.

You are not alone in feeling like this. We can help. Working with a counsellor provides a safe space for you to process your emotions, and to find a way forward when grief feels all consuming. Reach out today to find out more: